PEEL COMMITTEE AGAINST WOMAN ABUSE CREATING A SAFETY PLAN
It is important to know that although you do not have control over your (ex) partner’s violence, it is possible to increase your own, as well as your children’s, safety when being subjected to this abuse. Creating a safety plan involves identifying action steps to increase your safety, and to prepare in advance for the possibility of further violence. This information package offers many suggestions and ideas that we hope you will find useful. However, don’t try to do everything right away. Take it a step at a time, and start with the ideas that seem most doable for you.
In creating a safety plan it is important to remember that:
□ Although you cannot control your (ex) partner’s violence, it may be possible to increase your own and your children’s safety.
□ A safety plan is needed whenever the possibility of abuse is identified.
□ This safety plan information is specifically designed for actions that you can take.
□ This safety plan information also includes actions you can take to increase your children’s safety.
□ It is important to become familiar with and to review and/or revise your safety plan regularly. Abusive situations and risk factors can change quickly.
REMEMBER: Many women have escaped and survived abusive situations. This information package was put together by women who have survived and offer their advice to you.
1. AN EMERGENCY ESCAPE PLAN
The Emergency Escape Plan focuses on the things you can do in advance to be better prepared in case you have to leave an abusive situation very quickly. The following is a list of items you should try to set aside and hide in a safe place (e.g. at a friend’s or family member’s home, with your lawyer, in a safety deposit box):
a) Take a photocopy of the following items and store in a safe place, away from the originals. Hide the originals someplace else, if you can.
□ passports, birth certificates, immigration papers, for all family members
□ school and vaccination records
□ driver’s license and registration
□ medications, prescriptions, medical records for all family members
□ welfare identification
□ work permits
□ divorce papers, custody documentation, court orders, restraining orders, marriage certificate
□ lease/rental agreement, house deed, mortgage payment book
□ bank books
□ insurance papers
□ address/telephone book
□ picture of spouse/partner
□ health cards for yourself and family members
□ all cards you normally use e.g. credit cards, bank cards, phone, Social Insurance
b) Try to keep all the cards you normally use in your wallet:
□ Social insurance cards
□ Charge cards
□ Phone card
□ Banking cards
□ Health cards
c) Try to keep your wallet and purse handy, and containing the following:
□ car/house/office keys
□ chequebook, bank books/statements
□ driver’s license, registration, insurance
□ address/telephone book
□ picture of spouse/partner
□ emergency money (in cash) hidden away
d) Keep the following items handy, so you can grab them quickly:
□ emergency suitcase with immediate needs
□ special toys, comforts for children
□ jewellery
□ small saleable objects
□ items of special sentimental value
□ a list of other items you would like to take if you get a chance to come back to your home later
□ Open a bank account in your own name and arrange that no bank statements or other calls be made to you. Or, arrange that mail be sent to a friend or family member.
□ Save and set aside as much money as you can – out of groceries if necessary.
□ Set aside, in a place you can get to quickly, $10 to $15 for cab fare, and quarters for the telephone.
□ Plan your emergency exits.
□ Plan and rehearse the steps you will take if you have to leave quickly, and learn them well.
□ Hide extra clothing, house keys, car keys, money, etc. at a friend’s house.
□ Keep emergency suitcase packed or handy/ready to pack quickly.
□ Consider getting a safety deposit box at a bank that your partner does not go to.
The Police will bring you back to the home later, to remove additional personal belongings, if it is arranged through the local division. Take the items listed above as well as anything else that is important to you or your children.
When you leave, take the children if you can. If you try to get them later, the police cannot help you remove them from their other parent unless you have a valid court order.
2. CREATING A SAFER ENVIRONMENT
There are many things a woman can do to increase her safety. It may not be possible to do everything at once, but safety measures can be added step by step. Here are a few suggestions:
1. AT HOME
If you are living with your abusive partner/spouse:
□ Get your Emergency Escape Plan in order and review it often.
□ Create a telephone list with numbers of local police, nearest women’s shelter, assaulted women’s help line, crisis help line, family members, counsellors, children’s friends.
□ Make arrangements with friends or family so that you can stay with them if necessary.
□ Try to predict the next likely violent episode and make plans for the children to be sent to friends, family etc. (Try to anticipate his “cycle,” e.g. when there is a full moon.)
□ Teach the children to let you know when someone is at the door, before answering the door.
□ Teach your children how to use the telephone (and your cellular phone, if you have one) to contact the police and the fire department.
□ Create a code word with your children and/or friends so they know to call for help.
□ Teach your children how to make a collect call to you and to a special friend if your partner takes the children.
□ Plan your emergency exits, teach your children and know them well.
□ Teach your children their own Safety Plan
If you are not living with your abusive partner/spouse:
□ Change the locks on the doors and windows. Install a peephole in the door. Change the locks on your garage and mailbox.
□ Teach your children to tell you if someone is at the door and to not answer the door themselves.
□ Keep your restraining order near you at all times.
□ Make sure that the school, day care, and police have a copy of all court orders, including restraining orders, custody and access orders, as well as a picture of the abusive partner.
□ If possible, try to predict the next likely violent incident and be prepared.
□ If you have call display on your phone, be careful about who can get access to the store numbers (example, last number dialed, etc.).
□ Have your telephone number unpublished, as it is harder to track than when it is unlisted. Block your number when calling out.
□ Consider getting a cellular phone and pre-program numbers of people to call.
□ Contact your local Victim Services to inquire about your eligibility for the Supportlink / D.V.E.R.S. emergency response system program.
□ Consider moving your furniture around differently as this is something your partner may not anticipate, and cause him/her to bump into it and give you warning that he/she is in the house. Also put your kitchen utensils and knife block in the cupboards so they are not as accessible.
□ If you live in an apartment, check the floor clearly when getting off the elevator. Look in mirrors and be aware of doorways in hallways. Speak to security, or make an anonymous call, requesting safety in your building.
□ Purchase rope ladders to be used for escape from upper floors.
□ If you have a balcony, consider putting wire around it.
□ Replace wooden doors with steel/metal doors if possible.
□ Install smoke detectors and fire extinguishers for each floor.
□ Consider the advantages of getting a guard dog.
□ Install an outside lighting system that lights up when a person is coming close to your house.
□ Do whatever you can to install security systems, including additional locks, window bars, poles to wedge against doors, an electronic system, etc. – anything to provide added security.
c) Try to keep your wallet and purse handy, and containing the following:
□ car/house/office keys
□ chequebook, bank books/statements
□ driver’s license, registration, insurance
□ address/telephone book
□ picture of spouse/partner
□ emergency money (in cash) hidden away
d) Keep the following items handy, so you can grab them quickly:
□ emergency suitcase with immediate needs
□ special toys, comforts for children
□ jewellery
□ small saleable objects
□ items of special sentimental value
□ a list of other items you would like to take if you get a chance to come back to your home later
□ Open a bank account in your own name and arrange that no bank statements or other calls be made to you. Or, arrange that mail be sent to a friend or family member.
□ Save and set aside as much money as you can – out of groceries if necessary.
□ Set aside, in a place you can get to quickly, $10 to $15 for cab fare, and quarters for the telephone.
□ Plan your emergency exits.
□ Plan and rehearse the steps you will take if you have to leave quickly, and learn them well.
□ Hide extra clothing, house keys, car keys, money, etc. at a friend’s house.
□ Keep emergency suitcase packed or handy/ready to pack quickly.
□ Consider getting a safety deposit box at a bank that your partner does not go to.
The Police will bring you back to the home later, to remove additional personal belongings, if it is arranged through the local division. Take the items listed above as well as anything else that is important to you or your children.
When you leave, take the children if you can. If you try to get them later, the police cannot help you remove them from their other parent unless you have a valid court order.
Contact us
We are located on the Southwest corner of Glen Erin Drive and The Collegeway. Our normal hours of operation are Monday to Friday 9:00 am – 4:00 pm by appointment only.
The Salvation Army Family Life Resource Centre (FLRC) is an emergency short term shelter in the Brampton area for women and their children escaping partner violence.
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